“It is not an easy matter,” he said, “for me to offer you an altogether adequate explanation. I must go and dress at once. He drew her away from this thought. And, incidentally, check on that unfortunate young fellow Kimble. At Boulogne they took train to Basle; next morning they breakfasted together in the buffet of that station, and thence they caught the Interlaken express, and so went by way of Spies to Frutigen. His countenance was pale as death, but not a muscle quivered; nor did he betray the slightest appearance of fear. It was the first day you kissed me, under the willows, coming into Veraz. "I used to cry myself to sleep, Hoddy, I was so forlorn and lonely. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. And he, her lawful husband, dared not go to her and console her! Accursed—all of them— Enschede, Ruth, and himself.
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